Miss Kitty writes a guest post

close-up of cat's face

Image by Amaia Li

The Girl is up to her nose in gift wrapping paper and since she has temporarily exchanged the mighty pen for the vacuum cleaner, mumbling how she needs to clean house before Christmas, and pick up all the hair that’s on the floor—it’s certainly not my hair. It must’ve come from the long fur growing on her head—, I approached her with the idea of writing a post for her. When I asked The Girl to lend me her laptop, she looked at me incredulously.
“How could you, Miss Kitty,” she said. “You can’t type! I mean, you have no fingers.”
I gave her the duh look.
“Oh, I see,” she exclaimed. “You can type with your paws!”
Double duh stare from me.
“What?” she said.
I instructed her to turn on her laptop and open a new Word document.
I sat a few feet away from her device. I blinked my eyes twice slowly and concentrated, directing my gaze to the screen, to the blank document.
The Girl, I thought.
The words appeared on the screen.
I kept dictating with my mind, Is up to her nose in gift wrapping paper
The Girl fell backwards when the sentence typed itself on the blank page.
“Miss Kitty,” she said, all excited, after she picked herself up from the floor. “You can communicate with computers!”
I blinked contentedly at her.
“No wires, no Wi-Fi, no G4… Miss Kitty, do all cats… can all cats do what you did?”
“Sure,” I said. “You know all those pictures of cats with their paws on the keyboard? We’re just pretending we’re typing.”
“Omygosh, do you know what this means? If scientists could replicate your powers…we could…we would control—”
Replicate our powers!
As The Girl kept rambling on about what they could do with our powers, I was suddenly flooded by images of cats, my brethren, in lab cages, wired to machines and worse, of our brains being cut and diced for the sake of research.
“Girl,” I ordered. “Look at me!”
She stopped talking and stared at me.
I blinked my eyes twice slowly and concentrated, meeting her blank look with my gaze.
Girl, I directed the thought to her, you’re going to forget we had this conversation…

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