Found some inspiration on the Daily Prompt and decided to give the Futures Past assignment a try:
At some point in the past, I dreamt about becoming a dog trainer. Oh boy, that I’m nowhere near that vision—I don’t even own a dog! And when I was much, much younger, at the age of make believe, I thought that being a horse would be fun. Oh, I didn’t want to be a racehorse, but one of those jumping over obstacles at the Olympics. Later, while my classmates seemed to know what they wanted and were looking forward to college or to starting their own families (yes, being a housewife was an acceptable choice), I was mostly a confused girl. The only thing that gave me some form of direction was the need to get a job and start earning my living.
Later, when we moved to the States and I started attending classes at a community college; I tried personality and career compatibility tests. I don’t think they made anything clearer for me. One report said that I could have been good at music! Me? Where did that come from? I’ve never shown any musical tendencies. By then, I was in my early twenties and frankly, I thought it was kind of too late to head in that direction professionally. But at the community college, I discovered something important—writing. I enjoyed it so much that I never wanted it to become an occupation or a job for me. It was too magical and too special. In fact, I did not pursue a master’s degree in writing because I didn’t want it to lose its magical appeal. I did not want to sit in a classroom dissecting it and studying to death.
Writing has been my “little own thing on the side,” and I was not doing much with it. But life, I think, has a funny way to get you to work with your gifts even if you don’t want to. On a lark, I stopped at a fortune teller’s booth during a Chinese New Year’s celebration. In exchange for a dollar, the elderly gentleman, offered to tell me my luck. He gently shook a cup filled with sticks. Each stick had a number written on it. When one of the sticks fell out of the cup, he matched the number with the corresponding number on a piece of paper. He read it and told me that my fortune will come from books. Years later, I got my master’s in library science. I have yet to be hired as a librarian, so I guess my fortune may not lie in cataloging books. But I never stop writing and somehow, I dared myself to write a book and I did. So, who knows, maybe, just maybe, my luck will still come from books, only that it may be in writing them.
When I was that confused young girl, I wrote a letter to my future self. The letter got lost during the move, but I can still remember pouring my hopes on to the paper that the future, older me would have found direction, a path to follow that would lead her to happiness with herself.
Dear Young Me,
It took a long time, but I think I have found it.